LIBER HP
sub figura RPM.
0. Learn first- Oh thou who cruisest unto our ancient garage! - that
balance is the basis of the ride. If thou thyself are not balanced and
aligned, whereon wilt thou sit to steer thy vehicle?
1. Know then, that is man is born into this world without a ride; so must
his first endeavor be to seek transportation.
2. Thou then who hast troubles and breakdown, rejoice because of them,
for by their means is not only the chance for repair, but for gain of
knowledge, and by their means is a pathway opened unto the Road.
3. How should it be otherwise, O man, whose commute is but a moment in
Eternity, a gallon of gas in a large-bore V8; how, were thy trial not
many, couldst thou purge thy ride of the dross of unleaded? Is it but now
that the Higher Gear is beset with hazards and difficulties; hath it not
ever been so with the Drivers and Mechanics of the past? They have been
arrested and cheated, they have been road-weary of men; yet through this
also has their glory accelerated.
4. Rejoice therefore, O motorhead, for the greater thy breakdown the
greater thy repair. When men shall revile thee and ridicule thy duct
tape, hath not the Master said "Cool ride, dude!"?
5. Yet. oh motorhead, let thy chariot bring thee not vanity, for with
increase of horsepower shold come increase of handling. He who driveth
light, thinketh he driveth well; but he who has true traction, grips.
Seest a man who is fast in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool,
than of him.
6. Be not hasty to condemn others' driving, for how knowest thou that in
their place, thou couldst have avoided the crash? And even were it so,
why shoudst thou despise one who is in worse shape than thyself?
7.Thou therefore who desirest Mechanical Gifts, be sure that thy wrench
is firm and steadfast; for it is by cobbling thy repairs that the Weak
Ones will gain power over thee. Unhorse thyself before thy Self, yet fear
neither driver nor police. Fear is breakdown, and the forerunner of the
wreck: and courage is the beginning of repair.
8.Therefore fear not the Police, but be firm and courteous with them;
for thou hast no right to despise or revile them; and this too may lead
thee to arrest. Confound and appease them, appeal to the Higher Court if
need be; but neither mock or revile them, for so assuredly wilt thou be
led to the slammer.
9. A driver is what he maketh himself within the limits fixed by his
inherited destination; he is a part of traffic; his actions affect not
only what he called himself, but also the whole freeway.
10.Worship, and neglect not, the physical vehicle which is thy temporary
transportation through the outer and material world. Therefore let thy
mental Equilibrium be above disturbance by traffic; strengthen and
control the animal passions, discipline the emotions and the reason,
nourish Courteous Driving.
11. Observe right of way for its own sake, not for reward, not for
gratitude from other drivers, but for a smooth cruise. If thou art a good
driver, thou wilt not long to impress other drivers.
12.Remember that unbalanced power is out of control; that unbalanced
braking is but friction and loss of mileage; but that also unbalanced
carbeuration is but premature engine failure. Drive passionately; think
rationally; be smooth.
13. True performance is as much handling as it is power; it is control.
14. Remember that this road is but a bend in the universe, and that thou
thyself art but an ant thereon, and that even couldst thou become the
fastest car on the road whereon thou speedeth, that thou wouldst, even
then, be but a slow piece of metal, and one amongst many.
15.Nevertheless have the greatest maintainance schedule, and to that
end sin not against thy ride. The sin which is unpardonable is knowingly
and wilfully to ignore signs of breakdown, to fear repair lest that
effort pander not to thy meanness of time and expense.
16.To obtain Mechanical Power, learn to control tools; turn only those
bolts that are in harmony with the shop manual, and not every stray and
contradictory nut that presents itself.
17. Fixed adjustments are a means to an end. Therefore pay attention to
the power of silent operation and valve lash. Smooth running is but the
outward expression of adjustment, and therefore hath it been said that
"the sound of disrepair is clatter." Tuning is the commencement of
acceleration, and
if a chance adjustment can produce much effect, what cannot correct
timing do?
18. Therefore as hath already been said, Establish thyself firmly in the
equilibrium of suspension, in the centre of the Cross of the Drivetrain,
that powerplant from whose manifold the Creative Roar issued in the birth
of the morning traffic.
19. Be thou therefore slick and nimble as the Front End, but avoid
toe-in and caprice; be energetic and strong like the Engine, but avoid
pollution and noisy exhaust; be flexible and attentive to the changes of
the road like the Suspension, but avoid swaying and vibration; be
laborious and patient like the Gears, but avoid growling and grinding.
20.So shalt thou gradually develop the powers of thy ride, and fit
thyself to command the road. For wert thou to attract the Highway Patrols
to indulge their avarice, thou wouldst no longer command them, but they
would command thee. Wouldst thou abuse the pure Treads of the radials to
burn thy rubber and satisfy thy hunger of speed? Wouldst thou debase the
Spirits of Living Fuel to serve thy wrath and agression? Wouldst thou
violate the purity of the Souls of the Coolant to appease thy lack of
oil? Wouldst thou force the Spirits of the Steering Wheel to minister thy
folly and caprice? Know that with such desires thou canst but attract the
Slow, not the Quick, and in that case the Slow will pass thee.
21. In true religion there is no marque, therefore take thou heed that
thou blaspheme not the name by which another knoweth his ride; for if
thou do this thing in Studebaker thou wilt blaspheme deSoto, and in
Matchless, Indian. Brake, and ye shall stop! Steer, and ye shall turn!
Turn the key, and it shall be started unto you.