I'd like to comment to Val about her friend Lillie's experience where a
physician had persuaded her to believe that life was not worth living if she
was to become a "respiratory cripple".
I am glad that Lillie, through Val, has found a good doctor. I believe that
Val is very likely a guardian angel who was sent to insure that Lillie
continued to live. (hokey as this may sound). Through my own experiences
with my mother, I see that Lillie very nearly fell prey to a perspective that
exists among many physicians.
We have encountered many physicians who saw it as a foregone conclusion that
there is no way anyone would want to live the life that my mother had before
her. One doctor took these convictions so far as to spend 45 minutes with
her, telling her how hopeless her condition was, attempting to get her to say
that she did not want any more care -- no debriding (sp.?) bedsores, no
draining the fluid from her lungs, etc. He, and others, clearly gave us the
impression that my mother's dying was desrieable to spare her from any more
of the rotton life that she had lived so far. That there was no way that
life was worth living with an amputated leg, a vent, etc.
A women I met while my mother was in ICU said that a physician told her, when
trying th persuade her to say 'do not resuscitate' about her 64-year old
husband "Now if he were 21 years old, or a corporate lawyer,....(I wouldn't
be saying this)".
As if one's employment renders them a worthwhile human being.
If I've mentioned these things in earlier posts, please forgive the
repetition. I felt they were worth saying now, for Lillie's sake. I also
want Dr. Ruiz to know that seeing his compassion, involvement, and commitment
to 'vent-users' has gone far towards validating for me that there are
competent physicians out there with a view of life consistent with mine and
my mother's, which has given me peace when I look towards the difficult days
which lie ahead for my mother.
Chris Gawlak
Ft. Pierce, Fl.