Re: Excessive secretions

CKSwedberg(AT)aol.com
Thu, 9 Oct 1997 15:21:35 -0400 (EDT)

Annette wrote:
>but since I have gotten the trach I feel like
>I have to focus on the inner me. You know, the trach in a weird sort of
>way helped me due that. I just try to look my best for me, not for what
>others view.

I liked what you had to say, Annette. You know, for most of my life I did
not want anything to do with the subject of polio or disability or scoliosis.
Even to see another person with scoliosis was so incredibly painful -- if
felt as if I had been stabbed in the heart. My first reaction was to run
away, and that is always what I tried to do. In essence, I was trying to run
away from myself. Keeping myself so insulated and isolated from others like
me who have gone through polio-related problems, breathing difficulties gave
me the illusion that I was "normal." And it required that I pay a big price
-- my own serenity. Now that I'm reaching out for help on the Internet, in
therapy, in other support groups, I am finally learning to accept me as the
beautiful, imaginative, and gentle person that I was created to be. Being in
communication with other people who've been through a lot of the same
experiences that I've gone through helps me to appreciate who I am. For
example leaving my first PPS support group meeting last month, I felt a
new-found compassion and love for myself and it was so moving that I sat in
my car and cried for several minutes before I could head for home. I'm
really grateful for all of you who share your experiences, strength, and hope
in this forum.

Carol