Re: SCI Research
Valerie Brew-Parrish (brew-parrish(AT)juno.com)
Mon, 13 Oct 1997 12:42:55 -0500
Dear Andrea,
I too feel compelled to answer your attack on Brent as your comments
greatly disturbed both my husband and me as disabled persons. Brent, like
all Ph.D candidates and Masters candidates has to greatly narrow his
focus of research. When I did my thesis it had to be narrow in scope in
order to "contribute new knowledge to the field." If you feel that
research is lacking for kids and their families perhaps you could conduct
research. My hunch is, a GREAT deal has already been written as I have
read my share of it. Your letter to Brent was filled with pain and rage
over the tragic car accident that Mandy was involved in. It's
understandable. Let's remember though, Brent was able bodied until 1980
(?) which wasn't so long ago. Believe me, it's easier for young kids like
your daughter to adapt to a disability than someone who has been an AB
for a long time. Kudos to you Brent for getting on with your life! You're
scared for Mandy and that too is understandable. Please please please
don't ever let her know that you think of her as half-human/half machine.
That would scar her for life. Thank God for the wheelchair that gives her
mobility and the vent that allows her to breathe. You know, my mom could
have written the same letter you did. She always felt guilty that she had
me vaccinated for polio and by doing so I contracted the virus that
destroyed my body. It wasn't her fault. Sometimes bad things happen. I
was 5. My family had low expectations of me. After all, I never sat in a
"normal classroom." They thought I couldn't join in the "fun games".
Andrea, I never dwelled on the fact that I couldn't run, play baseball,
etc. I did have fun in other ways. You don't know that Mandy won't go to
a prom. As you said, she's a fighter! My family never could have
conceived that one day I would go to college, obtain an advanced degree,
establish the first placement program for students with disabilities in
the nation, fall in love, marry and have a child. When I was 18 my
siblings discussed putting me in a nursing home if my mom should die.
Mandy will make it in this world, she has a purpose. Try to give her
opportunities to interact with other disabled kids and adults who can
serve as role models. Take her out in public. Send her to camp in the
summer so she has fun. There are lots of camps that take vent kids. I
hope my words haven't hurt you Andrea. Many of the people on this list
were little Mandy's. Learn from our experiences and may God give you some
peace and encouragement.
Val