I too echo the thoughts and feelings of Val. I became a quad due to
Polio at the age of 7. Kids ARE very adaptable. Although, for many years
after my bout with Polio I thought that one day I would walk and be 'normal'
(whatever that means). I finally realized that I would not. Still, I enjoyed
my childhood immensely.
My siblings and neighborhood friends included me in their after school
play. They adapted their childhood games so that I could be included. I did
not have a motorized wheelchair then but I still could be included in such
games as 'Red Light', 'Hid and Seek' (using a flashlight or calling out my
playmates possible hiding places), 'Giant Steps', etc. They even included me
in games such as baseball where I would be the umpire. Also, all sorts of
board games. Even though I couldn't move the game pieces myself or deal the
cards or throw the dice. Still, I won or lost like everyone else.
I adapted to my physical limitations by using my imagination. When I
watched the other kids doing the physical things I couldn't I imagined I was
right there with them; I was running the bases, I was passing the football,
I was making the goal, I was winning the race. When you think about it, this
is what most adults do when they watch sporting events. Most people get as
much, if not more, pleasure and excitement watching a game as playing it.
The fact that your daughter wants her sister to do the physical things she
can't do herself makes me think that she enjoys watching. She is living
vicariously through her sister. Something I believe we all do to one extent
or another.
Be careful you don't subconsciously transfer your feelings of loss to your
daughter. That's the last thing she needs. Remember that our mind is the
most important physical asset that we have. Our minds have no boundaries. No
physical restraints. Our minds can go places where no physical being can.
Our mind is where true pleasure resides. Remind yourself of that when you
start to morn the loss of your daughters physical body. Yes, she will not
experience some of the things that 'normal' children and adults will. But,
this pales in comparison to what she has left - her mind and imagination.
Take care and keep up the fight.
Dan
drv(AT)ici.net