and deemed it fit to literally "rip my head off". I knew very well I had it
comming - after all - the truth is not something anyone wants to hear. After
all, we always want to hear great success stories, new inventions to make
life a little easier for SCI, see bright and happy smiles, show an up-beat
attitude. NO one wants to see or hear the down side, hear about the "dark
moments"...it hurts too much..I understand, because usually "I'm tooting in
the same horn".
As for the comments that my daughter is "not up to par" and not "normal" in
my eyes...SHE IS! She is so bright, intelligent, wonderful...she also only
gets "one message from Mom" GO FOR IT - YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I NEVER let her
down, I support her and help her. For Mandy and myself - it is the HIGHLIGHT
of the day..to see each other...to spend happy and crazy times with each
other, when I do her treatments and clown around while doing them, all of
this is now VERY NORMAL for us. But is it really so bad sometimes to wish I
could pick her up (I can't pick her up anymore due to a severe shoulder
injury in the car accident and Mandy got too heavy for me), just to be able
to grab her by the hand and run with her? Is this such a SIN or so PERVERTED?
I think this would not be "normal" if we all wouldn't wish this once in a
while, including Mandy.
I dealt with all of this all by myself...holding the family together,
fighting for Mandy. After the car accident my husband went into a deep
depression, aside from that he had to overcome side effects from the severe
concussion he got from the accident, such as paranoia and constant freight.
He was not even able to see Mandy for 6 month, Sheilah, Mandy's older sister
started soiling her pants again, had to fight despressions as well and is
now in continious counselling, which helps her a lot.
As for myself...well, my mother lives in Germany (yes, I am German), my best
friend cancelled her friendship with me, because she couldn't deal "with
Mandy's fate", and my husband does not even allow me to say a word in case
Mandy has had a "bad day", nor to mention my own emotions. So - it seems to
me - I am pretty alone. Support Groups - well I looked for some....but here
around I couldn't find any. Aside from that...if I get into a "support group"
filled with such "understanding and caring" individuals such as yourselfs who
have no comtempt for anyones feelings and are ready to "crucify" anyone who
doesn't jump up and down with joy over their kids fate" well, I guess -
rather NOT!
Well, as for now, I won't bother anyone anymore with my "crap". I won't
answer neither a post, nor give one...obviously I am not quiet "up to par" in
your eyes.
Thanks anyway for all the support - or whatever you might call those nasty
notes I've got...it REALLY HELPED A LOT!
Andrea