I did sleep relatively well last night but still feeling tired.  I guess expecting to be as good as new instantly after two months of critters eating me is perhaps a bit unrealistic.  I’ve tried to counter with caffeine but caffeine only goes so far.  Modafinil is too expensive, especially when you add the doctors fees necessary to obtain it, and Adrafinil, which metabolises into Modafinil, providing all the same wakefulness effects is cheap and requires no prescription but prolonged or excessive use hurts your liver, and as House so eloquently put it, “You need your liver to live that’s why they call it a liver.” so knowing my own tendencies towards the extreme I won’t go there.  When I was twenty, I could go three days without sleep and still function.  These days it’s hard to function after a good nights sleep sometimes.

    Which brings to mind, why is it that a substance that has very few harmful side effects requires a prescription, but one that provides exactly the same effects except that excessive use destroys your liver, required none?  What is the logic in that?  Sometimes I get hung up on things which make no sense, which in our society are plentiful.

     Here are some more pictures of Mei, which in Chinese means beautiful, as in meiguo, 美国, which means beautiful country, their name for the United States.  Anyway, left is her trying to get peanut butter out of her Kong.  Notice she gets her entire lower jaw inside it. Tina puts that in there as a way to get her to eat her pill, the right is her attempt to get between me and my computer terminal so I HAVE to pay her attention.

Well, I’m up now after not a good nights sleep.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=MIENus8bJlY

HelpGuide.Org says:

Get out of bed when you can’t sleep. Don’t try to force yourself to sleep. Tossing and turning only amps up the anxiety. Get up, leave the bedroom, and do something relaxing, such as reading, drinking a warm cup of caffeine-free tea, taking a bath, or listening to soothing music.

Doesn’t seem very useful. Already did that, still not tired. I know I will be when I have to get up for work this later morning.  Hoping the melatonin will kick in soon.
 

     Can’t sleep, been trying to get back to sleep after that dream for over an hour and it’s just not happening.  My wife’s at work so being alone kind of reminds me of being in prison, a memory I’d rather have behind me.  I took 6mg of Melatonin and read My Daily Bread, a devotional I follow, and the Bible verses that it highlighted today.  Ate a bowl of breakfast cereal just to give my stomach something to digest besides it’s lining.  Not really feeling anxious or nervous, just not tired, which is annoying as I know six or seven hours from now I’ve got actual work to do and it’s always difficult without enough sleep.

     Dreamt I woke up and tried to turn on the bedroom light but it wouldn’t come on.

     First thought was, the power was out, but the radio and humidifier were both still on.

     Went to Raymonds’ room, he still had lights.

     Walked back to my office, computer off, no lights, no power.

     Went back to Raymond’s room, he was now in the dark as well.

     Went back to my bedroom, radio and humidifier were now off.

     Woke up, lights worked.

Feeling a lot better today, little gunk, I can actually get air through both nostrils, no feeling of congestion.

Something is still living in my nose causing it to be stuffed up.  Not nearly as bad as it was during it’s peak but still annoying.  And now with this unusually warm weather for this time of year, allergy season is upon me as well.  I’m gonna go live in a bubble.

A lot of people dis Courtney Love but I like her because I think she writes and sings honestly.  So much of the tripe that passes as popular music these days is just things people want to hear, not truth, not reality.  Reality is often painful and most people would rather live in some fantasy than face that reality.

One of those realities that I think is spoken of in this song is people often love you for what they can get from you, not for who you are.  And that love isn’t real and as soon as they no longer get what they want they abandon you.  I’ve had people in my life like this and they’ve caused a lot of heartache, and I know I’ve treated some people like this and caused them a lot of heartache and often those people have been the same.  I’m deeply sorry for the heartache I’ve caused others.

Fortunately, God has also put some real good people in my life, people who loved me in spite of my imperfections, and not for something I have, and I’m very grateful for them. But I still hurt.

When Shoreline says they invest in the community, what they mean is that they take our tax dollars and spend them on stupid stuff so they can get money in the pockets of the land developers.  Here is one such example project:

195th ST NE between 1st Ave NE and 5th Ave NE carried maybe a car every fifteen minutes.  Not a lot of traffic since it dead-ends at 1st, except for a foot trail, and it only goes a block and a half past 5th where it again dead ends because of I-5.  There is a food bridge, but like the other end of the street no accommodation of automotive traffic.

But our Shoreline City Council decided we needed to waste more than half a million dollars to turn this into a separated trail to keep the once every fifteen minute bicyclists separated from the once every fifteen minute automotive traffic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=2K8_jgiNqUc