I am SO frustrated with Group Health doctors who are completely unwilling to provide any meaningful treatment for pain.

     Last night was my worst ever, felt like my spine had been plugged into a 220 volt outlet and every pain nerve fiber in it overstimulated.

     I had burning all over my body, severe allodynia, and it took on a new property where if my wife touched my lower left leg, not only would I feel intense pain where she touched but also I’d feel the touch in my chest and throat.  It is as if my entire nervous system were one big short circuit.

     This in spite of 1200mg of gabapentin, 6mg of melatonin, 750mg of gaba, 325mg of aspirin, and by late in the morning a substantial amount of marijuana.  But absolutely nothing was touching this pain and it was controlling me. I tell you if someone had offered me a bag of heroin I would have stabbed it in my veins or snorted it, the pain was that severe.

     Yesterday I got chewed out by my neurologist for sending him too many e-mails.  Well, I wouldn’t if he’d respond to them but in the absence of any response I just assume they went to >/dev/null.

     Today I get e-mail from him suggesting my problem is that I need better stress management.  I explained to him that my only substantial stressor at this time was the pain that he was refusing to manage effectively.  I have a wife that loves me, lots of friends, at least two kids that still talk to me, I practice meditation, I pray, I belong to and attend a church, a good small church with people that actually care, I go to a Bible study and a men’s accountability group.  Honestly, in terms of stress management I don’t know what I could be doing better.

     This is making night time sleep and daytime functionality difficult to say the least.