In past times of my life when I was suffering, the reason was not clear during the suffering but became clear afterwards.  Always, there was a lesson God had for me in my suffering.

     Often, in the past, as soon as I “got it”, the suffering ended.

     This time it seems to go on and on and I am not getting it.  I wish God would speak directly to me as he did in solitary confinement in prison.  Sometimes I am just too thick to recognize anything less.