The Reindeer That Wasn't

by Christine Morgan

The convention was held At the North Pole that year. The guests and attendees Came from far and from near. Santa Claus and Jack Frost, The soft Easter Bunny, The cute little fairy Who swaps teeth for money. The bad ones came also. Yes, they all sure were there. Some spiny-backed implings Who tie tangles in hair, The fat sock-eating troll Who lives in your dryer, One who hides the remote And chews the phone wire. Can't you just imagine The things that they discussed? Panels and seminars About you, me, and us. And they finished it off With a black-tie affair. Nice gowns and tuxedos Are the things they did wear. The stork, who delivers Little babies to all, Was excited to be At so fancy a ball. He was proud of his job And he just had to brag About the new baby He had snug in his bag. He had in his bundle Only one egg, no more. A gigantic red egg. And guess who it was for? A family of dragons Who lived in a gold nest On Great Sunset Mountain Far away to the west. The stork, he drank cider And eggnog with nutmeg. And when he departed At Santa's stayed the egg. It was there on the floor Underneath the stork's chair. And lay all unnoticed 'Til an elf saw it there. Mistletoe and Holly Were cleaning up the room. And Holly bumped the egg With the end of her broom. "Mistletoe, look at this," Holly said in surprise. "This can't be a bird's egg, Why, just look at the size!" "Well, it's some sort of egg," The elf Mistletoe said. "We can't leave it here, though, Take it out to the shed." "Oh, we can't just do that," Holly said. "Oh, no way! This poor egg needs a nest And a nest's made of hay!" So both of the elves took The egg to the stable And made it a nest there As best they were able. Now, the stable, you see, Was the home of the deer. Santa's sleigh team, who pull His sleigh every year. It happened that Comet Had the stall right below The spot in the loft where The egg happened to go. And it happened the egg Got bigger and bigger Until it broke through that Loft thingamajigger. Down came the egg with a Really really loud crash. It just missed poor Comet And the shell, it went SMASH! Something fell out of it -- Something red did appear -- "Good heavens, what is that?" Cried all Santa's reindeer. "It's some sort of red bug," Comet answered in shock, "It's trying to get up, And it's trying to walk." The wings, they did flap and The head did wave about. Then it opened its mouth And a big flame came out. It looked up at Comet With its big golden eyes As he stamped out the fire And looked down in surprise. "Mama?" the creature said. "Mama! Mama!" it cried. The other deer went, "Awwww!" "Oh, no, no," Comet sighed. "You can't keep that red bug," Blitzen said with a sneer. "Why, everyone will see He's not even a deer! He's ugly, and smelly, And dangerous, to boot!" "We can fix that, I'm sure," Vixen said. "He's so cute!" "Just how could we fix it?" Comet asked. "Blitzen's right. There's no way he'll fit in; He'll give all such a fright!" "I think we can do it," Vixen said. "Watch, you'll see. Redbug will be just fine. Leave everything to me." "There's some branches outside Growing out of the snow. We'll tie them to his head And then no one will know!" So they broke off some sticks And Donner found some thread To tie the fake antlers On top of Redbug's head. For his legs, head, and tail They tore holes in a sack Which kept his wings folded Down tight against his back. They gave him a corncob, Tried to get him to eat. His breath made it popcorn, Which the deer thought a treat. It was hard for Redbug To get used to the snow; It melted beneath him Everywhere he did go. The deer tried to teach him All the things reindeer did And when the elves came by They made sure Redbug hid. Redbug followed Comet, His mother, he thought And tried hard to please, Even though he was not. Soon the rest of the team Liked having Redbug near. He kept the stable warm, And thought he was a deer. But at last the day came When it was time to fly. "I don't know," Blitzen said, After watching him try. "He can't seem to do it. Some things just can't be taught. He may think he's a deer But remember, he's not." "He can fly!" Comet said. "I just know that he can! Come on, Redbug!" he called As toward the cliff he ran. "Follow me, son!" he said. "I'll show you what to do!" And when Comet jumped off, Well, Redbug jumped off too. Now, Comet was a deer And he knew how to fly So he went straight on up In the frosty blue sky. But Redbug fell straight down And he cried out in fear, Because, after all, he Just thought he was a deer. "See, what did I tell you? You can't teach some things!" Blitzen started to yell -- And then out burst the wings. Redbug's great big red wings. They split apart the sack And he flew through the air With the wings on his back. His fake antlers fell off, And the sack tore to shreds, Showing off his bright scales As he flew overhead. He soared in a circle, He blew his firey breath, All the elves who saw him Were frightened half to death. The deer didn't notice. They were too glad to see That Redbug was flying As nice as could be. They cheered and they whistled They shouted out his name They flew up to join him In a fun reindeer game The workshop door opened And Santa Claus came out. Wondering what all the Noisy fuss was about. "Good heavens," Santa said. "Oh, my, what have we here? Could this be a dragon Who thinks that he's a deer?" "A dragon!" said Comet. "Is that what Redbug is? He needed a mother And thought that I was his! Please don't be mad, Santa. We just wanted to try To teach him to do it, To teach him how to fly." "I'm not mad," Santa said, "But I'm sorry to say We can't keep a dragon. We just can't let him stay. He needs his own family, To be with his own kind. And to be where it's warm. I hope you all don't mind." "Oh, Santa!" the deer cried, "Please don't send him away! He's like one of us now. Please, won't you let him stay?" They crowded around him, They begged and they pleaded, They promised to do all The things Redbug needed. But Redbug knew better. He knew Santa was right. The snow and the ice and The bitter Arctic night Were no place for dragons. Now he knew he was one Whose home was far away In the land of the sun. He dreamed of the deserts And the hot golden sands And the mountains that rose In the far Western lands. He knew where he belonged. He knew he had to go. He looked down at Comet, And Comet said, "I know." "I wish there was some way You could be happy here. I still think you would have Made a heck of a deer. We'll never forget you; We'll always remember. And you'll see us each year One night in December." So Redbug the dragon Said all of his goodbyes. And he flew far away To the warm Southern skies. And wherever he went With his flame burning bright, People thought he was a Comet, lighting the night. So, if you see something Way way up in the sky, At the wrong time of year For a sleigh passing by, Don't hide under your bed. You've got nothing to fear. It's Redbug the dragon Who thought he was a deer.