Re: Another "Country" Heard From
Jeff Gray (nirusers(AT)ptdprolog.net)
Sat, 25 Oct 1997 14:06:10 -0400
>Jeff,
>
> I know what you mean. I too have been disabled all of my adult life
>and I
>share your frustration in finding a relationship with a woman. Sad to say I
>have never had one. I have had over 80 female PCAs during the past 15 years.
>Like you, these are the only women I meet. I have become very close to many
>of them but never in a romantic way. Not because I didn't want to, but
>because they didn't want to.
> Those that I became very close to and when I got up the courage to
>ask, I would get one of the following answers. "I couldn't have a
>relationship with you because; You're my boss, you're too old for me, I have
>a boyfriend, it would ruin our friendship, I don't think of you in that
>way". I was even told by one of my ex PCAs, "Who would ever want to have sex
>with someone as disabled as you"? This was not too good for my self
>esteem. :-(
> And please, all of you, don't suggest that I join a church group.
>I'm not
>very religious. Also, I went to college for eight years. The story there was
>the same. Most every female I met seemed to liked me. I heard remarks like;
>"Dan's such a nice guy, What a great smile, He's got such a great
>personality, What a good sense of humor", but that's as far as it went.
> However, I keep on trying, maybe the next one I connect with will
>be the
>one. As they say, hope springs eternal. Keep on truckin my friend and I'll
>do the same.
>
>
>Dan
>drv(AT)ici.net
Dan,
With me it seems that it is seen as being unethical for a homecare
worker to know their clients sexually. Actually I know it is against the
rules of being a healthcare worker. I've heard it put that they would feel
that they were molesting me.
My problem comes from the fact that women I do know are either
working for me or have worked for me. Being the only women I know, I tend
to become interested in them. Funny story. I had a young female nurse
working for me who I found attractive. Everytime she helped me use my
urinal I would get an erection. I couldn't seem to prevent it. Anyhow
this made her uncomfortable and she took herself off the case. Before I
knew she was leaving I asked her if we could be friends. I also told her
that she tended to make me uncomfortable and somewhat nervous. She freaked
out because she felt I was comming on to her. Physically nothing could
happen without her help. I've got DMD and I cant lift my arms or legs.
Another nursse put it this way. "It's not like you could reach out and grab
her by the ass or something ".I've said these same things to another nurse
but she didn't feel threatened.
Jeff