<<In regards to you last two sentences. Why do you feel this way? Being a
caregiver is a unique and intimate relationship. It is not you regular 9 to
5 job. Must the rules be the same?>>
Dan,
For all the reasons stated in my previous post. But to explain further: One
of my core issues is trust, another one is abandonment. As a child I watched
my father cheat on my mother in their marriage and finally leave her for
another woman, I have felt the emotional let-down when my dad or one of my
brothers wasn't there for me when I asked for help--simply because it wasn't
convenient for them. I have felt rebuffed by guys on whom I've had huge
crushes on 2 different ocassions. I've seen lots of my close friends jilted
by men to whom they had given their hearts. I had lots of fear that my own
husband would leave me when push came to shove, but I've learned over many
years to trust him. I consider myself very lucky, and I believe that my
husband is one in a million.
In some ways I not only carry around with me all of my own issues with men;
but also, whether I like it or not, I carry the burdens of all of my sisters
over the centuries. I read how one Native American tribe considers how any
given action will affect the people 7 generations into the future before they
make the decision to do it. In other words, whenever anyone does anything, it
in some way affects the entire universe. I really believe that this is true.
As I've already stated, women over the centuries have been beaten into
submission, considered as a piece of property, been barely second class
citizens. Being a woman, I carry this history, this consciousness, around
with me.
Sexual desire is a lot different in women than it is in men, I think. I've
read magazine articles stating that a surprisingly large percentage of women
often prefer a close, intimate relationship rather than a sexual one. Of
course, there are exceptions to this. Personally, I would not think of taking
off my clothes or doing anything else for any man, abled or disabled, just so
that he could release his sexual tension. What I'm trying to say, Dan, is
that your female caregivers are not so different from me and a lot of other
women I know in this. To expect anything different from them is just setting
yourself up for a big disappointment, I'm afraid.
Carol