thank you soo much for your wonderful e mail. I love to hear from other
people, to see and hear their stories.
The way you describe your childhood reminds me a lot of Mandy. I could sit
here now for hours, telling you stories of her plays and games, her tricks
and innovative ways to have fun...lots of it. Mandy loves boardgames, plays
them with a head-pointer and velcro. She loves cardgames and ...loves to
place a bet (she doesn't care about legal age when she "socks" some nurses
out of their lunch money....She loves hide-and seek too. Believe me, I can't
find her often (hides in the man bathroom). She does races across VPF on a
race track. She goes out for dinner (Steak only), shopping in the mall, to
the Zoo, the beach, to curch, shows, she knows almost all the Phylli Baseball
Players personally - and collected kisses from them too. She loves to go to
her school and now she starts to read her first book.
Lately however she told me sometimes she "doesn' want to live this way,
wonders why she survived the car accident, etc." Mandy was in denial for a
long time...now she "wakes up"....I just tell her that I do understand her
feelings, try to point out the many good sides of her life and assure her of
the support and love of her family. We'll see how things are going. I told
her how hurt and worried I was after the accident, she loves to hear
this...she knows I wish things would have been different but she sees me
accepting her disability and go on with life. When she misbehaves, she still
"get's it" I try not to spoil her too much.
As for hopsitals in which cruel and uncaring staff tented to the
kids...oh...do I remember....I grew up in the 60ies...and I am a Diabetic,
got it when I was 3 yrs old. I was more than 21 times in the hospital. I
could tell horror stories of neglect to down outright abuse....forcefeeding,
yelling, threatening, leaving me for hours alone in a dark room - nightmares
without an end.....
Today this is fortunately way better. Mandy gets treated with love and
friendship. Nurses at VPF have even their weddings in the facility - or
invite all their little friends to the wedding. . Mandy was even allowed to
pick the wedding gown of her favorite nurse...she picked one for $
4.700....The staff brings their own children in the facility, Sheilah brings
her friends - and we invite children over the house when Mandy is here. She
plays just like the other kids. They treat her no different. Most time she is
even the "leader" once the kids see how much she loves to "play tricks".
Playing goes on non-stop. Mandy gives her friends rides, shows them how to
"highpress a vent and have Mommy running and jumping"...how to chase the dog
thru the house and steal a snack or two out of the pantry....
At VPF Mandy is pampered, loved, and wonderfully taken care off, combined
with the love and support plus daily several visits from her family, I
believe she really got the best possibilities. She wants to become a
Network-Administrator because she loves Computers and is unbelievable good at
them. I tell her "go for it - you can reach the sky, if you really try and
want to, nothing can stop you!!!!" So, I hope she will have a good and decent
life one day as an adult, I will do everything to make dreams come true.
I really admire you. You had to overcome so many obstacles - most of all back
in the "darkages of disability" and you DID IT. Your parents must have been
very special too. Mandy's Grandma for example can not understand that Mandy
is still mentally fully functional. She firmly believes...once your body is
not "normal" your mind isn't either" She doesn't even want to talk to Mandy
anymore, once even refused a call from her. What can I say...some people grew
up when dinosaurs roamed the earth....
Ok, for now I have to go....it's getting late....
Thanks for the mail...keep it coming, please...
Bye
Andrea